Thursday, September 3, 2009

Is your Relationship Worth Saving? Important Advice on How to Save a Relationship

By Paul Lindquist

Bob is always at work and Cindy feels like he doesn't spend enough time with the family. Cindy is spending the majority of her time caring for the kids and Bob feels neglected by her. Is it possible to save this relationship? Is it best for Bob and Cindy to save this relationship? Here is advice on how to save a relationship.

First, you must make a decision of whether or not the relationship is worth saving. While just about any relationship can be salvaged through hard work, both parties must make an effort. If one of the two parties is unwilling to try to restore the relationship, then there is not a lot the other party can do.

Many people stay in a failed relationship because it is convenient or because they want the kids to have both parents with them. Of course, the kids' best interest is always a very important consideration, but it is not likely to be enough by itself. How to save a relationship starts with a strong commitment from both people involved that are willing to do all they can to save it.

Next, you need to accurately diagnose the real problem or problems in the relationship. One major challenge with how to save a relationship is that many people think the symptoms of the problem are actually the problem itself.

For example, if there is a lack of true intimacy in a relationship, one (or both) of the people involved may look elsewhere to get that need fulfilled. Now looking somewhere else for intimacy is the symptom, and it will probably continue unless the real problem of the lack of intimacy in the relationship is addressed.

After you've gotten past the symptoms and figured out the core problems with the relationship, it's time to sit down and share your thoughts and feelings about these problems. This means a two way exchange of both talking AND listening.

After you have identified in detail the core issues that are causing the relationship to crumble, create a plan of action together to address and resolve these issues. Then, take immediate action on your plan.

For example, if you find that the problem is you are not getting to see each other enough, then make a 'date night' every week when you can go out and do things together that will bring back the spark in the relationship and create memorable moments. After you create the plan, FOLLOW THROUGH with it and do it every week.

The last point to remember is that how to save a relationship is never a completed work. ALL relationships have their issues, even among couples who've been together for fifty years or more. The key is to always approach your partner with an attitude of love and forgiveness. This kind of attitude will give you a far better chance of a lasting relationship.

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